Random things I don't want to forget

Claire is 4 months old already! She's such a happy little girl, grinning for everyone. She especially loves her big brother. Cor and Owen are the only two who can make her giggle on a regular basis. She recently discovered her hands and loves to gnaw on them, and uses them to grab anything within reach to stick in her mouth. She's so content...too content, it turns out. She's not eating enough, or my milk is too watery, or some combination. She's gained less than a pound in 2 months. My pedi is a full-on supporter of breastfeeding but handed me a sample can of formula and suggested topping off with an ounce or so after every feed until we can get my supply up. I'm guessing the days of breastfeeding-only are done, and we'll be supplementing here on out. With Owen at 4 months I was completely done, so we did better this time around. I just want her to put some chub on! Today was the first full day of supplementing. She took the bottles but threw up a lot, she's just not used to eating that much. I hope that changes. She loves to kick and stand, we tried the doorway-jumpy-thing today, she loved it.

Owen had his first Christmas programs this week. Sunday he played a "modern day wiseman" and gave Jesus some cookies. He was a pro! Went up by himself, even though the other kids had to be escorted. I was so proud. Then, on Tuesday night, he had his preschool program. Participation wasn't as great, there. He just stood there while the other kids sang. He didn't look angry, or embarrassed, or sullen, just stood there and looked around. Oh, he did jingle his bells. He told us and his teachers that he would sing when he got big. They sang "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jingle Bells." Today I finally got him to sing Jesus Loves Me:



He's giving me grey hairs lately. This 3-year-old thing is testing my patience daily and most of the time I fail badly. I feel he's been watching too much TV lately, so much so that he's forgotten how to play, so for the immediate future he's video-free. He is reading amazingly well and has gotten into drawing pictures. He adores preschool. I love his teachers, I know they tell every parent that their kid is special but they really make me believe it. He has a friend, Nolan, and I'd love to see them get together for a play date.

Owen loves his baby sister. We still haven't even seen a hint of resentment. He loves to snuggle with her and try to make her laugh, and offers parenting advice ("She's not hungry! She wants her nuk!").

Baptism

Claire was baptized in our Methodist church today. I'm actually a lot more comfortable with something closer to a dedication; I believe she will have to make her own decision to believe in Jesus some day. My brother and sister-in-law were the sponsors, even though the church they attend does not do infant baptisms. My mom was there even though she's a Catholic. The Methodists come in somewhere in between. My pastor prayed over my daughter and, while I had no idea what he was going to say, I was nearly in tears at what he said. He talked about this sacrament setting Claire on the path to become a disciple, to the day when she will decide to follow Jesus. So, now she's an official member of our church.

She was a little angel today. She hardly fussed in church. SHe woke up when Pastor Dave put the water on her head but it didn't faze her. Everyone noticed how sweet she was today. She started to get a bit upset during the service so I took her and walked around in the back, while she smiled and talked to me. I don't remember having such awesome conversations with Owen! This one is very social. My husband's aunt made the most gorgeous gown. It took her weeks and it was absolutely stunning. It's a shame it was only worn for an hour or so. Of course, 2 minutes in it and she almost spit up on it, but Cor managed to take one for the team and most of it went down his sleeve and pooled near his elbow.

Owen came up to the baptismal fount with us. I wasn't planning on bringing him up there, just because I knew it would be hard to keep an eye on a 3-year-old and still go through with the ceremony, but he followed us up thinking it was time for the children's sermon. He sat there on the step in front of the altar and gave us funny looks. At one point I closed my eyes to pray and then remembered I had another child. I opened my eyes and he was gone, but at that moment he came out from behind the organ and informed Cor, "Daddy, I have to go potty." This was about 2 minutes before the pastor was going to do the actual water baptism. Cor didn't know what to do, so he asked him to go tell my mom. My dad was poised and ready to take Owen into the potty but the Sunday school teacher intercepted and took him. Yay church!!

Claire's sponsors couldn't make the drive, so we had a couple from the church stand in. It turned out really nice.

Finally

Today is the kind of day I wish would happen every day for a work-at-home mom. Owen slept until 10 (score!). We hung out on the couch and watched only one movie while the baby ate. Owen and I made silly faces at the baby while she beamed, adorable!! Daddy came home and made "munch" (tomato soup and rice...yum) while I got a quick nap. After lunch I fed the baby while watching Miffy on the computer and sang silly songs. Got the baby to sleep in the sling, and then made green playdoh. Now she's sleeping on my lap, Owen's playing with the playdoh, and I'm working (well, and blogging, if you want to be exact).

Ok, now he's checking out silly faces in the mirror.

Hopefully we can swing a walk yet today. If I had gotten a shower today it would have been perfect.

Why didn't I think of this before

Two cups of chocolate chips is too much for one recipe. I'm an avowed chocoholic and I still think so. Why don't I use just half of the bag?

Also, Nestle chips are way better than Hershey's. Ghirardelli* is of course better than both. I need to discover some really good chips.

*Proof I'm a chocoholic...spelled Ghirardelli right the first time.

Chicken Juice

Owen started preschool at the beginning of the month. He goes 2 times a week and he loves it. So far his teachers love him, too. Every day when Cor picks him up, they say Owen did great. On Monday they asked Cor how we keep from constantly laughing. Apparently Owen cracks them up. He raised his hand during some sort of circle time and said, "I have a problem." When they asked him what it was, he said "I have a booger." Coming from a 3-year-old this is high humor. He was also telling them about Mythbusters and blowing up cars. They asked if we write down the things he says. I don't! I always mean to come on here when he says something funny but then I forget. Shame on me!!

At dinner the other day we were talking about tomato juice. Owen remembered what we had said about orange juice and said, "If you squish a tomato, you get tomato juice!" I was very proud of his reasoning skills. Then he said, "If you squish a chicken, you get chicken juice!" Um, yeah, I guess. Yuk, though.

He loves his baby sister. He is constantly touching her and kissing her. He is happy to run for whatever I need. He tries to calm her down when she fusses, "It's okay, baby Claire."

Owen has been trying very hard to read. He has a lot of words he remembers by sight, and he tries to sound out words. Today he spelled the word car by reasoning out the letters from the sounds. The daycare teachers think he's very smart. He enjoys making pictures, which are usually jumbled up letters. He likes to go for walks and play games like Hi-Ho Cherry-O, Candy Land, Candy Land Castle, and Cariboo. His favorite TV shows are Blue's Clues, Peep and the Big Wide World, Word World, Wonder Pets, and Mythbusters. Unfortunately he's watching a lot of TV lately, between me working and nursing the baby. He'd watch TV all day if I'd let him, but I don't. A few people brought gifts for Owen when they brought gifts for the baby and one person brought over the Jungle Book. He watched it for about 20 minutes before declaring it too scary.

He told us he wanted to be Batman for Halloween. We were both confused as to where he had seen/heard of Batman, maybe he overheard us talking about the movie a few months ago? Finally we asked him to describe what Batman looks like. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was enough to reassure us that he had never actually seen Batman. I managed to talk him into being a monkey instead.

One month

Little Claire is a month old today. She's been a very mellow baby, for the most part, only fussing when she's hungry. I love seeing the faces she makes, I'd forgotten how much fun a newborn is to watch. She's losing her dark hair. She eats a lot, it feels like constantly but I know it's not that much. It might be because I'm so afraid of a low supply I've been taking fenugreek, so that might be giving me too much foremilk, which doesn't fill up a tiny tummy as well. I've also noticed green poop and she's been a little fussy in the evenings lately (gassy?). Or, I could be overanalyzing the whole deal. She's still very tiny, barely getting into 0-3 month clothes. We've been using a fleece pouch, which I adore. As soon as we put her in it she conks out, all snug and cozy. Love!! She seems to be avoiding the worst of the baby acne that her brother had at about this time. She gets furious when she's naked but gets over it quickly. She doesn't hold grudges. We're swaddling her and she sleeps pretty well at night for a while, but then she starts to fuss so I give up and haul her into bed. She gets her snack and then snuggles into the crook of my arm. I think cosleeping is great for some people, it sounds so sweet, but I feel uncomfortable doing it, even if she is very cute and snuggly. I'm looking forward to getting a new cosleeper bassinet next week and hoping that will help.

Owen started preschool last week so I've had a few afternoons this week with just me and Claire. We have been able to have some nice naps together. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough one-on-one time with Claire but the problem has been my poor, neglected 3-year-old. I spend so much time on the couch feeding the baby and dozing that Owen has been watching way too much TV. Poor kid. We made it a point to get out this afternoon for a while, and he's really enjoying school, so hopefully it's not as bad as I think it is.

Forgiveness

I have been seeing a therapist lately. I think I've been somewhat depressed for a few years, and I'm not really sure why. My major problem is anger; I get unreasonably angry at people who don't deserve it, mostly my son and husband. She is really great to talk to and so far just having someone who just listens to me has been a huge help. I was talking to her today about the fact that I can't seem to forgive and let go, that I tend to hold onto things when I should forgive as I am forgiven. Why do I mull these things over? Why can't I move on? It's like poison, like Gollum and the ring. She reminded me of the Lord's Prayer; "...forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..." Not that God is holding it over us, that if we don't forgive He won't forgive us...or is that exactly what He's saying? If I can't forgive, what does it mean about my salvation? Either way, ouch.