Fall fever?

I just can't stand it. I feel so antsy lately. I can't work for a reasonable amount of time before I have to go do something, anything else. I've been doing too much shopping (OK, mostly browsing) and not enough housework. I hope to get that out of my system next weekend when my friend and I get to go have a girls' day shopping, woo hoo!! I know part of it is the impending pregnancy test. I'm going to try to hold out until Sunday. I'm trying not to think about it but I think it's eating at me from the inside out. I don't know what I'll do if it's negative. I feel pretty positive because this cycle was so successful on the new medication, so I don't think it'll be the end of the world. At least I'm testing before my girls' day out so I can drown my sorrows in chocolate while driving around the Big City*. And maybe a drink at lunch.

I was trying to start a MOPS group in town but it kind of fizzled. I think that's part of my discontent as well, I'm just not involved in any sort of church group on a regular basis. I went to the park today with a friend of mine who was talking about her little girl's difficulties in kindergarten, and she said she was going to have to pray about it some more. She didn't say it in an "Ain't I Holy" way, but just matter-of-fact, as if she was going to ask her husband. I need to hang out with more people like that so it rubs off. There's a Baptist church really close to my house that another friend is going to go to and they are very active. They have a women's Bible study on Tuesdays that I want to go to, but Tuesdays are the only day that Owen spends at my MIL's house and I'm reluctant to give that up. But, isn't Bible study more important? Maybe I'm scared of going to a Bible study with a bunch of women who are better Christians than I am. I know that sounds petulant, but I have been such a slacker over the last couple of years as far as going to church, reading my Bible, and praying. Why is this so difficult? What's wrong with me? I'm afraid if I go to a Bible study I'll be found out for the fraudulent Christian I am. Obviously the point of a Bible study is to grow in Christ, so I just need to get out of this vicious circle.