We have our big ultrasound on Wednesday, yippee!! I'm about 19 weeks now and feeling pretty good. A few big differences between this pregnancy and when I was pregnant with Owen, but not sure if it's just because of a different medication regimen. I'm much more sore in the chest region, and much more emotionally volatile. With Owen I felt great and actually pretty even-keeled, and the only problem I had was at about 38-39 weeks when it started to get really uncomfortable to walk. That same uncomfortable-with-walking feeling started about a month ago with this one. I already feel like I'm waddling. I finally popped, so my belly looks nice and round and pregnant and not just lumpy.
Ah yes, emotionally volatile. I'm a powder keg. I know I have to be responsible for my own emotions and reactions, though. I wish I was more like my husband, he just lets things roll off. I got so mad at my friend's husband tonight, I called over there and ended up yelling at him through my friend. Not cool of me! I had to call her back and apologize, because she didn't deserve that, and it was just inappropriate of me in general. I don't know why people say they feel better after letting off steam, I just feel stupid, and guilty because I know the Bible says to repay people with kindness, even when they're rude (paraphrased). So now I'm wondering if I need to apologize to my friend's husband. He infuriates me. I'm wondering if I'm just thinking about apologizing to make myself feel better, which isn't a good reason.
I'm wondering if I should try to go back and see my therapist. I saw him a few times last year and it was good. He's not a Christian, though, and I'm not sure if he understood totally where I was coming from, but it was really nice to have someone just listen for an hour. I should probably go back. I definitely have problems controlling my anger.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
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3 comments:
your body is full of hormones which are controlling your emotions at the moment. Totally common. If it would make you feel better, see the therapist. I had PPD and PTSD after Jacob was born and because I feared it happening again with Adam, I saw a therapist once a month throughout my pregnancy so that she'd be available to prescribe something early on after the birth if need be. I didn't need it, but she was a big help getting me adjusted to the realities of two children. Going from one to two was pretty easy, but before it happened I think I harbored a lot of fear and uncertainty about it. Maybe you are too and that adds to your frustrations.
You might be carrying higher this time, so the chest pain.
Be sure to post pics after the ultrasound. Can't wait to see the new little one, and think, it's almost half way over.
So nice to hear an update!
Pregnancy can really shorten a fuse. I can look back at each of my pregnancies and think of things that had me so upset that would not normally otherwise.
Looking forward to hearing your big news on Wed!
You had your big u/s yesterday! You have good things to report, no?
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